In my ongoing efforts to improve my sleep, I found an article that advised getting into bed and relaxing all the muscles in the body gradually — but to especially make sure that the eyes and jaw are relaxed. Every time I do this exercise and turn my attention to my eyes and jaw, I’m shocked at how much tension is there. I mean, why am I squinting in the dark when I’m tired and trying to fall asleep? Whenever I relax my eyes and jaw, it’s like turning off a major switch; a wave of peace and calm washes over me, and it's much easier to drift off.
It’s made me think about how much resistance we can hold without even realizing it at all.
We humans tend to have so many things going on — responsibilities, schedules, pressures, and what-ifs that constantly activate our logical brain, which in turn takes on an energy of resistance to everything we could be bombarded with in a day. Yes, we need a built-in mechanism to stay safe, but most of us aren’t in life-or-death situations even though our internal systems feel like we are. What we don’t often realize is this resistance blocks all the good intuitive information and yummy energy that’s out there, too (including healthy sleep).
That’s why if we really want a sign from a loved one on the other side, it often happens in a dream. We experience Grandma as super real and super present in that dream because we’re finally sleeping and all of our resistance is turned off, and the connection can come through loud and clear.
It's why good ideas come to us in the shower — we’re present to a relaxing activity and the stress is melting away. It’s why I like to scribble on a piece of paper when I do a reading, so my logical left brain is occupied and distracted while my creative, right brain can take the lead and open the intuitive gate.
In the first mediumship class I took, my teacher gave me an enormous stuffed animal to hold in my lap as I did practice readings. She didn’t tell me why — she just told me to hold it. To my surprise, the readings I did clutching that toy were easier and more connected than they’d been before. That adorable stuffed animal felt soft and cozy. It made me feel instead of think. It quieted the resistance in my head around, “This is hard to do, and who am I to think I can do it?” and made way for joy and love, ushering in a high vibration.
Several years ago I went to a horseback riding school to give Reiki to some of the horses. When I worked with Ullie, I stood just outside his stall half-door, raised my hands, and sent the energy to him as he faced me. About two seconds in, he turned his body around and backed his left hip up right into my hands. I ran the Reiki down his hip and leg and sensed him completely soaking it up. After the session, one of the women who often rode Ullie told me he’d been having an issue with one of his hind legs.
This happens with animals a lot during Reiki sessions. They’ll lean into the energy and completely open themselves up to receiving it. They know they deserve comfort and healing and gratefully accept it. They’re experts in the total absence of resistance.
Way before I did energy work for a living, I did a guided meditation that ended with asking any loved one of mine on the other side to please come through with a sign. I waited for that sign pretty intensely for maybe two minutes before I got bored and got up to go to the bathroom to wash my face. While in the bathroom, I heard a noise in my kitchen. The framed picture of my cat Coco had separated itself from its magnet and fell off my fridge onto the floor. It was a blatant “Hello, I’m here!” from Coco who had passed away many years before.
As soon as I stepped out of the resistance of impatience and push, I was free to receive. Everything can then move and flow. Spirit can reach us, inner wisdom can be revealed, we can blissfully fall asleep and restore.
Give yourself comfort — hug your animal or a stuffed toy, practice yoga or take a walk in the sun. Unravel whatever is resisting that openness to healing and balance. It's a blessed goodbye to squinting in the dark. ✨