The other day I heard Kunal Nayyar say on a podcast, “We are all the same source in different stories.” A few things blew my mind here. First of all, it turns out that Kunal, who played Raj on The Big Bang Theory, went on a spiritual journey after suffering significant anxiety and now has beautiful wisdom to share about coming back to yourself and finding balance through meditation and presence. Now that’s a story.
Secondly, how well said—we all come from the same energy of love and light, but we’re all on our own journeys and are expressing that authentic essence of ourselves in infinite ways. I went from a little kid with imaginary friends to living in France for a year to fashion copywriter to energy worker/animal communicator. Someone else’s story is that they’ve always loved to knit and create beautiful things for others. Yet someone else scored soccer goals when young but became a computer genius as an adult. From the outside, all of these are cool, interesting stories. I can see movie-worthy qualities in anyone’s lives.
The above stories aren’t the only ones I or most people have, though. Sometimes there’s the loop in my head of “what if this happens,” “I didn’t do that well enough,” and “there’s not enough time in the day for me to accomplish what I should and need to do.”
Right after Mr. Big picked me to work with him at the Costa-Rican horse-and-soul workshop, he stood beside me as I sat blindfolded in a chair. (We were blindfolded when the horses picked us so it would be easier to stay present with an open heart and clear energy.) There I was, feeling full of gratitude that a horse had chosen me to work with for him the week, sending love from my heart to his heart, when suddenly I questioned whether I’d be able to do whatever was in store for us in the days to come. Because of my chronic fatigue and back pain at the time, I started to panic about whether my body would hold up. I wanted to soak up every moment with this horse, and I actually started to feel how frustrated I’d be if I couldn’t participate in every activity. Just when I was spiraling, I felt Mr. Big rub his face on my leg. It was at once firm and loving, and I immediately got the message: Come back to yourself and your body—you have everything you need to experience the gifts of the present. Be here now and come back to gratitude. In other words, you’ve got this, and I’ve got you.
The following year when I rode Cosmo on an extreme trail ride, he kept telling me to come back into my heart, come back to joy every time I got scared of a steep hill or arduous, rocky path. Every time he did this, he pulled me into the present and into gratitude, safety, and bliss.
A few months ago, when I sat on my bed and sank into anxiety, sinking into worry and fear about something I hadn’t seen coming, our cat Calla came and sat next to me and watched me with loving energy, very still and patient. I knew she could see my energy spiraling out of control and was there to tell me the reality of the situation: that everything was ok, the world will keep spinning, just breathe. She was my rock bringing me back to earth.
Why are humans the ones who have internal fictional stories while animals are grounded and know how to bring us back to center? Because they’re constantly in tune with the energy around them and within them—a.k.a. source and authenticity. Our internal stories are often the tangents that take us off course from our true essence. But we are not those thoughts…thoughts that are, in a roundabout way, trying to protect us but actually accomplish the opposite. We don’t have to protect ourselves from the reality of who we are: gratitude, love, and freedom. We can always come back to that source and be our own big bang theory, expanding from there. And that’s a story that never has to end. 💜