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Time to Choose

In today’s New York State update, Governor Cuomo talked about his own fears now that his brother has tested positive for the coronavirus: “We’re emotional beings, and as an emotional being it is frightening and it is unknown. And it is threatening, and it is scary, and people are dying.”

He’s absolutely right. We’re humans in a physical world, and the scariest thing we can imagine is something we can’t see threatening our very lives—an invisible, microscopic thing that has so much power.

So instead of fear, I’ve been trying to put faith into the invisible.

Because if this invisible illness can show up physically in our bodies, then faith in spirit/God/guides/the universe can show up as vibrancy in our bodies. And it can show up physically in the world, too.

76,000 healthcare workers volunteered to come help New York’s hospitals stressed beyond capacity. A Brooklyn teenager was in the news for offering to do grocery runs for as many seniors as she can. My friend in the Midwest texted me to say she’s never seen so many dogs being walked (at a social distance).

The other day I had a migraine. It felt like a typical migraine for me so I wasn’t that worried, but when you’re incapacitated it’s easy to sink into that vulnerability, and in the current climate, fear.

While I was lying in bed in a bunch of pain, my boyfriend came into the room and, without a word, handed me a tiny sticker that said, “I believe in magic.” I know that sticker—it was on an envelope standing up in a pencil tray on my desk. Adam found it on the floor in the TV room at the other end of the apartment. The only thing I can imagine is that our cat Calla, who likes to hang out on my desk, got it stuck to her fur and carried it to the other room where she shed it on the rug.

The fact that Adam found a message about magic and handed it to me when I was at my worst means everything to me.

It almost feels like we don’t have a choice about fear—it’s all around us. But making choices is what’s getting me through right now. I choose to look for good things. I choose to be grateful. I choose to connect to spirit and ask for help.

The world feels out of control right now, the situation incomprehensible. The pandemic is super real in my community, the country, and around the globe. But choosing gives us control. From washing our hands a million times to believing in the cyclical nature of all things, we can get through one day at a time.

Today I’m choosing faith.

And sending love to all ❤️

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